Fostering isn’t just for Christmas

Published by Professional Social Work magazine

When Ellie turned up on the doorstep of her new foster family’s home, skateboard under her arm, many of the experienced foster carers watching this year’s Christmas ad by John Lewis uttered a collective “Hmmmm.”

It’s not that they didn’t want her, or the family, to succeed. It’s just that they knew what happens next. They knew that Christmas can be an especially fraught time, for carers and kids alike, and that bonding over skateboarding, lovely as it may be, isn’t even half the story.

That’s the view of Sarah Anderson, founder of FosterWiki, an online platform providing resources for foster carers.

Sarah is also an experienced therapist who has helped some of the most hard-to-place children in her 15 years as a carer.

Sarah believes the crisis in foster care cannot be solved by a Christmas ad she describes as ‘simplistic’: 

"It’s great we have the opportunity to talk about it,” she says. "But it takes a very simplistic view. A lot of us foster carers were watching it saying "Hmmm, now let's see what happens once the door is closed.” 

One foster parent speculated in an online forum that John Lewis missed out “the bit where the child then burns down the Christmas tree”.

Others spoke of the trauma that can go with Christmas, where present-giving is so fraught with uncertainty that children need to be told exactly what they are getting. 

Sometimes, Sarah says, you do get a glimpse of the fostering utopia depicted by John Lewis.

She remembers the moment she gave a girl she was fostering – a girl who found it hard to settle and kept running away - a box of baking equipment: "Her face lit up when she saw all the icing bags and decorations." 

But the reality is that very few foster carers have Sarah Anderson's advanced therapeutic knowledge. Most only receive three days of local authority training. They lack the expertise to deal with complex trauma. They receive no support for their own mental health, and, increasingly, are expected to pick up some of the roles and duties previously performed by social workers.

“Social workers are exhausted,” Sarah says. “They are overworked and overburdened and increasingly we are seeing foster carers asked to do contact, family time and supervisions. They shouldn’t be asked to do this, but it’s happening more and more.”

FOSTERING FACTS

• There are 70,000 children living with 56,000 foster families across the UK
• The number of looked after children coming into care was up nine per cent in 2022
• 25,000 new foster carers are needed by 2026
• 30 per cent of foster carers leave within two years

Fostering perceptions arising from the John Lewis ad run the risk of suffering from what Sarah calls ‘Orphan Annie Syndrome’: “Orphan Annie turns up on your doorstep and everyone lives happily ever after. Of course, what you actually get is an incredibly traumatised child, and so this perception does the children a disservice and doesn’t help recruitment anyway.”

Trauma is complex, and yet there is no unified approach to foster carer training in the UK. "There is no standardised qualification to be a foster carer. We are the only workforce in children’s services to take on a traumatised child for 24 hours a day.

“Anyone coming in should be trauma-informed and have a full understanding of the role, and of the national minimum standards. The current ‘Skills to Foster’ course is inadequate considering what we have to take on.”

The toll fostering can take on carers is enormous, and there is very little support, Sarah says.

"Foster carers’ mental health is hidden under the carpet. If you mention you are struggling, you are more likely to have your practice called into question than you are to get support.”

A recent FosterWiki survey showed 54 per cent of current foster carers are thinking of quitting, and that 60 per cent are in their 50s or over. The sector faces a deficit of 25,000 fostering families by 2026.

Meanwhile, 30 per cent of newly approved foster carers are leaving within two years, and Sarah adds: “Children are left bouncing around a system in a revolving door of inexperienced, ill-equipped foster carers.

“We need to widen the net, in terms of recruitment. Fostering is not just for people who need the money and have a spare room. We need to attract more professionals, who are a huge untapped resource - people like teachers and social workers - and we need to reimagine what support for foster carers looks like.”

The Fostering Network spoke in support of the John Lewis campaign, saying: “We are pleased to welcome this campaign and the increased awareness of foster care it will bring.

“This year’s John Lewis Christmas advert will go a long way to raising awareness of the important, and often hidden, role foster care plays in all our communities.”

But Alan Dapré, a writer of more than 60 books for children and teenagers, who was himself fostered, gave his reaction to the ad on Twitter: "I don't see it as an advert. Care experienced children are not tins of beans, though some private providers treat them as commodities. 

"I see it as a short dramatisation of a key moment in a child's life. 

"The narrative arc was chosen to tell an uplifting story about a child finding a secure loving home. 

"The ad... holds up a somewhat perfect view and leaves out a lot of other narratives. Apparently, the John Lewis creatives worked with care groups - I found it triggering as my fostering experiences were poor.

"So, should it have been made? Should it be a Christmas ad? I think that's up to the individual care experienced person to decide. We each have a story to tell, or not."