It's okay to feel conflicted over the death of the Queen
Published by Professional Social Work Magazine, 15 September, 2022
Ask many people how they feel about the passing of the Queen and the word they may use is ‘conflicted’.
Conflicted by unexpected emotions of sadness, while also not being entirely comfortable with the symbol of inherited wealth and privilege, not to forget empire and colonialism, that the royal family, to some, represents.
Conflicted by a sense of loss of a great figurehead of continuity and national identity, while also left cold by the pomp and ceremony of the last few days.
Conflicted by feelings of gratitude and respect toward the Queen for her long and dedicated service, while recognising she lived a rarefied life far removed from her ‘subjects’.
And that’s okay. It’s okay to acknowledge and hold these conflicting and contrasting emotions toward an event that has so heavily dominated the news agenda.
It’s not disrespectful or disloyal to feel confused. Indeed, if the Queen was the kind, compassionate and thoughtful person commentators are describing, she would herself understand such emotions.
The institution of monarchy runs deep within British society. Many find comfort in following the ups and downs in the soap opera of the world’s most famous family. Their joys, sorrows and dysfunctions make us feel better about our own.
The royal family also offer something beyond politics and religion. Through their status they can and do champion good causes, such as mental health, the environment and charities.
King Charles has professed a desire to give voice to people who have been pushed to the margins.
But therein lies the rub. For in the eyes of some, there is a huge presumption, contradiction even, in the very poor being represented by the very rich.
The royal family has an estimated fortune of £28 billion. They own vast swathes of real estate. As we head towards a winter in which social workers predict people will die, the cost of living crisis will not even touch the sides of these wealthy individuals.
Seated at the top of the social pyramid, the royals live a life unencumbered by financial worries. They do not need to make choices over heating or eating. Nor should anyone else in one of the richest countries in the world.
But sadly, as social workers know all too well, this is not the case. They know also that with deprivation and poverty come all kinds of associated social and health issues.
Social workers have predicted an uprise in crime, domestic violence and social unrest in the year ahead due to the economic hard times to come.
Underfunding in health and social care means many people are already not getting the treatment and support they need and deserve.
It is highly likely that on the day the Queen passed away, someone somewhere in Britain died on a trolley or even in the back of an ambulance due to a lack of hospital beds.
On the day the Queen was laid to rest, some people will have had a vital operation cancelled due to the bank holiday.
No doubt other funerals were postponed, overshadowed by the Queen’s.
It is not disloyal or treacherous to point this out, nor to acknowledge the contrasting life experience of this hugely wealthy family and the citizens it symbolically reigns over. Or to question whether this is right in an age of growing inequality and economic hardship for so many.
Staging republican demonstrations at this time might be unseemly, distasteful even. But in a free, democratic society, it should not be an arrestable offence, as has been the case.
We may respectfully and affectionally mark the passing of a great human being who achieved much in life.
But this does not mean that we should blind ourselves and ignore the great social injustices taking place outside the palace gates.
Whether or not the monarchy is contributing to such injustices and the growing gulf between rich and poor is a relevant question to ask.
So, as we mourn the death of the Queen, it’s also a time to reflect on who we are as a society and what we want for all our citizens in the future.